Grace-filled Hearing and Speaking

“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every persons be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger…” (James 1:19).

“Let your speech be always with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how to respond to each person” (Colossians 4:6).

These two verses touch something deep inside of me. They speak of civil discourse, hearing well and then speaking graciously, when given the opportunity to speak. I fear we have, even in Christian circles, lost this skill to a great extent.

James calls us to be quick to hear. My friends that includes those who may agree with us as well as those who may disagree with us. Listening well is an art form that takes patience and grace. For the most part, when in conversation with another, people are often reloading instead of listening, listening from the heart.

Over the years I have had many conversations with those who do not see eye to eye with me on a given topic. But when we made an effort to sit together and hear one another out, we came to a greater understanding as to why we felt and acted the way did in a given regard. We may not have come away from the conversation having convinced the other to our way of seeing, but we established the fact that we could have a civil debate and leave that debate respecting one another.

James is calling us to listen deeply and not be reloading while the another is speaking. Then when we are given the opportunity to speak, the Apostle Paul exhorts us to speak words that are filled with grace, well-seasoned.

What would happen in our world if we determined to be gracious to those who don’t see things our way? I believe that if we, as Christians, were to take the first steps to become good listeners and then grace-filled speakers, a lot could change, beginning in the arenas that we occupy.

Jesus said that people speak and act in the way that they do as a result of the things that fill their hearts (Matthew 12:34). Over the years, I have done my best to explore what it is that fills the hearts of people whose words and deeds are disturbing. What has that person who always seems to be angry experienced during their growing years? What scars have been left on a heart by abuse, rejection, or bullying. When I ask the Lord to give me insight into these things, I more often than not come away with compassion filling my heart. But this does not happen when I just dismiss someone whose words and deeds and political views don’t jibe with mine.

Speaking of political views, I am presently witnessing, during this election season, dueling yard signs in my neighborhood. Instead of trying to outdo one another with these dueling yard signs, what if the two parties took time to sit and talk with one another to gain an understanding of the convictions that each other holds. And since our secularly minded neighbors probably won’t begin that conversation, why not you? Taking time to deeply listen and when given the opportunity speaking with grace.

My wise mother reminded me more than once, God has given each of us two ears and one mouth for a reason. Get it?